Santiago Munez's father says to him, "there are two type of people in this world. There are the rich, and then there are the people who lawn and weed their gardens, like us."
It has been 3 years since I first felt the engraved impact of how wealth make a difference in almost everything. Throughout the years I have only but to sit back and look at the big picture and realise things haven't really changed for the better. Instead, it appeared more like getting used to it. I just happen to repeat the same issue time and again, like now.
*****
For months the 3 tenants had smoked and stinked the house. Lately, it was overwhelmed by an urine odour, not because of its stench, but the helpless anticipation that it carried along with. Anticipation of death. It is my first time to witness how a gradual dying seem like. We know every slightest thing is tough for him, even the air fights against his respiration. He gasped for air and coughs in his sleep. I have learnt how to differentiate when he is calling for me and when he is calling for the air. I did not feel much about it. It's just another dying process, like what I would say to my pals who went through the lost. I made it sounded easy for them, and it is easy for me now. I just do whatever I can help to what he wants. To me, death is the best way out.
Today, amid the "hi can I help you" job, I received 5 miss call from dad, and a SMS - pls cal me. I got distracted from work and predicted that peace have finally taken over his toment. Momentarily I felt lost and got mentally prepared as I called dad.
He told me he needed my IC number for some adminstrative issue.
*****
Yesterday was an off day. Including this particular afternoon, I spent 3 days finishing 50 episodes of Naruto. It was evening as I sat against the wall. A serious mood swing striked, which had probably evolved from the anti-social lifestyle, persistent financial issues, the reluctance to stay at home to face my loneliness and my frail grandfather, and the reluctance to leave him alone at home.
I chose to meet Robert. I planned to get a gift for May in town. On the train, I realised that my mood swing appeared contagious, I told Robert "I have lost my soul...", and advised him to go home as I proceeded on to town but only to realise the gift was already prepared by Kase. I stood amidst the neon lit street looking at passer-by. Fortunately I found Lam and Kase for company. I treated myself a rare indulgence with Ding Tai Feng dumplings, Kinder chocolates, Spinelli Brownies, Next Menthol Lights, Layers Chips, and movie "Goal" at Cineleisure. Though little, but bits and pieces of puny indulgence does wonders to heal the shattered soul. Also thanks to Lam and Kase, their company certainly drew a comfy end to my day.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Saturday, October 08, 2005
No life, Live it
I probably have to give Jason, May, Jingsi and Carol's birthday party a miss. For Messina Greats, it is as good as hanging up my boots already. My regular KTV sessions ceased when I have to turn kakis down. All this for the new environment that I was fortunate enough to set my foot in, for the recruitment had stopped at the time I applied for the post.
1 life, live it. The motto does not represent the stand of the frontline sales staff.
I have been with the shop for 11 days. The handphone-technology dummy have to bear with the indigestion from the required product knowledge and all. Back at the interview, I emphasised my strength of being adaptive. Now I realise that it isn't mere words that can get me adjusted. The timing simply suck.
From attending parties, blasting KTVs, tugging at the soccer pitch, dinners and suppers with my 2 usual gangs, I found a drastic change to my past time. Since there is no companion during my free time, I found friendship in Naruto. Bro's dusty massive collection of animae could at least accompany me for the next few months. And I finally get to load my game of Final Fantasy X, last played in 2004. At the end of it all, the emptiness only seem to magnify.
On the bright side, this job offered a glimpse of hope for enrolment on the next SIM intake. The way to sustain throughout days in SIM (should it happen), would be to working 5 days a week with the shop, and 2 days full day in school.
Then I pounder on the irony. Intending to live a life, I have to sacrifice life only to make a living. For now there seems no clear definition to the line.
1 life, live it. The motto does not represent the stand of the frontline sales staff.
I have been with the shop for 11 days. The handphone-technology dummy have to bear with the indigestion from the required product knowledge and all. Back at the interview, I emphasised my strength of being adaptive. Now I realise that it isn't mere words that can get me adjusted. The timing simply suck.
From attending parties, blasting KTVs, tugging at the soccer pitch, dinners and suppers with my 2 usual gangs, I found a drastic change to my past time. Since there is no companion during my free time, I found friendship in Naruto. Bro's dusty massive collection of animae could at least accompany me for the next few months. And I finally get to load my game of Final Fantasy X, last played in 2004. At the end of it all, the emptiness only seem to magnify.
On the bright side, this job offered a glimpse of hope for enrolment on the next SIM intake. The way to sustain throughout days in SIM (should it happen), would be to working 5 days a week with the shop, and 2 days full day in school.
Then I pounder on the irony. Intending to live a life, I have to sacrifice life only to make a living. For now there seems no clear definition to the line.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)