Dilemma: Realism VS Desire

Every once in a while, Eugene, my buddy from my previous unit, would wake me up from the comfort zone. Everytime he spoke to me about my situation, I see how hazardous things are. After spending the past 8 months working closely with him, Eugene knows my situation better than anyone else, and he never fails to offer precious and wise advices. Even after ORD, we had discussed my problem over MSN.

I had already applied for BSc Business from SIM-UOL. I did so without measuring the risk ahead. Even til now, I have not a source to support the studies. And so, Eugene analysise my situation again. He is now working as a temp in a firm. Together with him are a handful of SIM graduates, also there working as temps. Most of their other friends who graduated from SIM, either cannot find work or only find a job with a starting pay of < $1500-1600. Many sucessful entrepreneurs pounced on opportunities, they need no degrees. A fresh graduate with top honours foresees a $3.5K pay, and an average starting pay for a NUS grad is $2.3K. When SIM's marketability will most probably lose to both NUS, NTU and SMU, I would expect a 2K pay with a decent certificate. I can't confidently guarantee even a decent looking certificate. Measuring opportunity cost, I would lose out 3 years of working experience and income, incur an additional $23K of debt, and spend another 3 years repaying the debt. Altogether, I lose 6 good years of income in exchange for a cert and some theories. What Eugene highlights sound all so logical and reasonable, despite my desire to persue the degree. Moreover Eugene pointed out that I am simply not cut out for studying, which I agreed. His suggestion: from now on, work my ass off, day and night, sleep 4 hours a day, get paid, clear all outstanding debts, and start a business in 10 years time. He, as a lawyer with a decent income, promised to invest in time to come. He says, "you'll get a better chance in the real world, rather than following the flow," and that I have the responsibility, honesty, work ethics that aren't traits for studying. He suggests I take over every debt that dad owes, to truly measure the amount of time I need to clear everything before I can really concentrate on earning for myself and the potential business.

Dilemma. I'm facing a choice between realism & my desire?

Human is a very complicated being. It takes alot of perspective from different levels to to define human and its life. Although I hate it, I have to be undecisive in this issue. I need more perspectives to measure the pros and cons.

While his words piled pressure on me, on the other hand, more pressure pours in. I am fire-fighting against the debt that dues in 2 days. Finally the creditors are coming to auction off our properties. The debts are credited to my stepmother, who did not live with us for more than a year. I've been to the police station to sought advice and called up the citibank (creditor), all of not much help. With one day left to sort this out, I can only pray for a glimpse of hope by calling ICA to inform them that stepmother had not changed her address, bidding for a chance that they would direct the charge to her new address. The monkey clan actually planned to celebrate Hanjun's 21st birthday at my house this coming Saturday. I told Guofeng to put it on hold first. I wish that the celebration can take place. I was complacent, that I had not tried anything to resolve this earlier when I have abundance of time. I was just too complacent to get things done. I assumed things would straighten out when the time comes. This is yet another painful lesson.

O.R.D Special: Pseudo Army

21 January 2003, I set my foot upon the shores of Pulau Tekong as a recruit.
6 April 2003, I trained in OCS as an Officer Cadet.
28 January 2004, I commissioned as 2nd Lieutenant and was posted to 1PDF.
21 June 2004, I was posted to ITI due the merger.
1 Feb 2005, I promoted to Full Lieutenant one year after commissioning.
20 March 2005, OPERATIONAL READY DATE.

Two years and two months long of service in the Singapore Armed Force was a rather fruitful journey. After commissioning I had minimum exposure to combat roles, and I had sticked to the technical and administrative field of the organisation. My combat knowledge remained stagnant at an Officer Cadet level. However the staff work had prep me up for future adminstrative rides.

Many had wondered why I never wanted to sign on the Army since I'm so financially-screwed. It is a foolproof logical route that can bring stability and security to my studies and my family. But I insist on starting afresh outside the SAF. It may mean a continuity of the crisis back at home, and risking my chance to graduate with a degree without any financial stumbles. In spite of this, I am determined to get away from working in this pseudo world.

A world constructed and constituted to showcase how well we could defend ourselves. A new world order is established within the dimension. While training involves taking on imaginary enemies, when there's no blood being shed, the army regulars get paid for going through the motions. I totally agree that it is more than essential to showcase this world, and that's probably why the organisation is one of the richest in our region. Therefore many local talents are spotted and lured, with high flyers easily earning over 10K per month.

The rules and regulations lacks the flexibility due to the essential enforcement of strict discipline. The nature of the working style is sufficient to fustrate me for the 2 years in army. The product of this world is of intangible nature. Unlike the rapidly-paced stage in the real world, we could see the results of our hard work almost immediately, and more often than not, the profits goes solely to the investor. Working in the pseudo world, where ever-happening-peace is taken for granted, does not produce fulfilling results.

Time is a vital factor to me. I choose time over capital. So it's time for me to reap as much experience I could, as I take the rocky path.

A World without Thieves

Fuck. I was yet again being cheated of, and this time round an Indian boy. It was really no big deal, but I was really pissed over it. The boy approached me in the supermarket to lend my handphone for a call, claiming that his phone's prepaid hi-card had no credits left. The call was a fairly short one that took at most a minute or two. A few minutes later, when I went for a smoking break at a coffeshop nearby, I saw that bugger walking on the streets in a distance, talking on his handphone. If not for the unfinished drink on my table, I would not hesitate to confront him and clarify this issue. I'm irritated. With every such incident, my level of trust in people (Singaporeans) drops. I used to be a firm optimistic believer of "A World without Thieves". Well, not anymore, especially after the Malay bitch's incident. I don't even feel like donating to any charity organisation or handicaps on the streets. They all look like cheats to me.

Once during the break of dawn, at Bishan Junction 8, while awaiting the first train to arrive, a monk approached me. He showed me a card with signatures and names on it. On the last column are numbers like 20, 30, 50, etc. He asked me to write my name in, and put in on the next column what I would like to pray for. Similar to previous scribblings, I wrote a "平安" (safe). He then gave me a small golden card with Kuan Yin Goddess on one side, and some chanting scripts on the other. Then he told me to (note: he did not ask) write a figure in the last column. I knew it meant a donation, but he did not explain that column is for donation, not until I ask. He said, "twenty or thirty is fine. Can be any amount." I reply him that I'm not donating. His face turned irritated all of a sudden. He sounded sacarstic," you dun even have $5? Any amount is fine." With the golden card still in my hand, I said no and walked away. I thought this cheat monk is a disgrace to the religion.

Yesterday, I went for an audition with a company that is looking for freelance singers. This company planned to hold live concerts in public places, and therefore is recruiting singers. At the audition was two other candidates. After some introduction, I went ahead first with "Heaven Knows" by Rick Price. As usual, it went terribly wrong as I started the song with a key too high, resulting in the inability to reach the highest point of the song. The other two candidates were Janice and Alex. Janice has a wonderful soft voice, while I think Alex sucks big time. Well, the interviewer told Alex that he was officially recognised in her team of singers. Then she brought me and Janice into the office, and told us that we can sing well, but we need more trainings on speech and drama, in order for us to perform well live on stage. I agree with her totally, but the point that she had scraped away the course on going through voice training made me suspicious. She had previously criticised about my techniques in singing, and now I'm only required to go through speech and drama course. This course costs $360 for 8 lesson over 2 months. It came to my mind straight away: another money cheating sucker. I suspect that after 2 months of training, she might well kick me out of the team still, with the excuse that I 'm still not good enough. I went on to suspect that everything is a fraud, a conspiracy to cheat me of my money. I even suspect that Alex was part of the ploy to convince me into joining the team. I also doubt the qualification, quality and professionalism of the course instructor. Janice had easily agreed on taking the course. She might be the accomplice too.

All this went through my mind at that point of time. After coming out of the audition, I realised that I was becoming very overly suspicious of strangers and coporates, especially when dealing with issues involving money. It could be a plus point for me to be on alert mode in unfamiliar situations, but I feel sad to realise that I have lost serious faith in people.

Stangers are dangerous and evil.

Gimme your wallet!

Today - no camp, no part times, no calls from friends to meet up - there's nothing to welcome this Wednesday. For this, I had stayed all day at home. As part of the government's desire to boycott smokers, I lived a smoke-free day today. As a result the running nose ran like tap water today. Also as part of the society's desire to promote the golden rule that money makes the world goes round, I treated myself to 2 meals of Taiwan's chicken soup instant noodles today. At the end of the day, the dry taste of the MSG was just to gross and made me feel sick. As part of my daily workout regime, two packs of instants mee are not going to supply me enough nutritions. Thus, supper was a sumptuous mocha chill milk with microwave heated pizzas from Cheers.

All the above craps are featured as part of welcoming the new phase of my life - going back to a broke.

My last allowance from SAF had settled the utilities bill. Putting it simply, this marks the first step out of the rigid but freakingly rich organisation. Stepping forward, I wasn't able to bring along any hard cash with me. A fresh start indeed.

After making some enquiry calls to SIM and various banks, I realise my foolishness to have taken it for granted that I would have no trouble getting a loan from bank. I was still hoping for the operator to tell me that SIM provides help schemes to needy students. Darn. I can't even find a guarantor to fulfill the condition of applying a study loan. Mum had already officially retired from her Sentosa's ridiculously-unreasonable-pricing store. Although I still bear a dim hope that mum's husband would offer to lend the sum, I am too embarrassed to turn to him for the cash. The money is meant for his son. Moreover, other than money, there's one more thing I hate to owe - a favour.

To look for someone to be a guarantor made me feel like a beggar, and I hate it. It will take me no less than a couple of years. How much can I earn with my tattered A-levels certificate? Hell am I losing out in time.

The practicality of the lucre-based society had highlighted how deeply rooted the money tree to its core, depleting the chance of an average candidate in poverty to strive alongside the majority. The subsidies and grants are only meant for potential candidates. I should wake up already.

I have 2 weeks to find either the money or a guarantor. Or else I would be sentenced to be a year of an average thug.

Revive the Spirit of Art

This is currently my favourite piece. (Mastered on 4 July 2003)

Revive the art spirit in me!It's rare that I could get into an artisitic mood with the monkeys. 15 March 2005, Robert posed as my model at Bishan portrait. Qinhui is my first ever art student.

and the dragon Qinhui mentioned that her cousin might like...

Looking back to the Superman days

It is pretty fun to rate the different jobs that I had held. Therefore I now do a review on my days as the Superman in Chinablack, as a DBS credit card promoter, and as an Assistant Training Management Officer in Infantry Training Institute...

Review for a Server at Chinablack (Rating of 1 to 10)

• Pay: 3 At $6 per hour, it's a lousy pay for a weekend late night.
• Working Hours: 5 6 hours is already considered a long time for me in the clubhouse. (Refer to Enstein's Theory of Relativity).
• Distance: 7 Situated in town, it's always nice to report for work after dinner with pals.
• Freedom : 3 There's no chance for hiding to take a break. Each of us was only allocated a short 15 minutes smoking break.
• Working environment: 1 As mentioned in earlier blog entries (http://rec0nteur.blogspot.com/2004/10/im-superman.html), the place made me wana puke after absorbing all the smokes, noises, and lightings.
• Boss: 3 I do not like how the supervisor's attitute. Fucking kuai-lan.
• Interaction with new collegues: 8 I do not quite like most of the staffs, but there were a handful of them that are willing to teach and appeared friendly.
• Babes: 10 It babes and babes and babes no matter which way I turned.
• Enjoyment: 3 Although the music was loud, it could well be the only cool thing. I had no mood to admire at the babes.
• Physical requirement: 8 With little breaks, it's a struggle to keep walking to and fro the packed clubhouse for 6 hours. My poor legs really hurts.
• Mental requirement: 2 There's nothing to learn as a server after I understood my job routine - to clear glasses and ashtrays.
• Safety: 2 Seriously hazardous to work there for a long term. Music exploding in the ears, air filled with second hand smoke, giddy lightings. Terrible.
• Learning Value: 3 As a server, I only learn more names to the different kinds of liquors.
• Overall Job Satisfaction: 4 I quit after 3 weeks. It's a place for clubbers, not workers.

Review for a DBS Credit Card Promoter (Rating of 1 to 10)

• Pay: 6 An average pay of $6 per hour for weekend.
• Working Hours: 6 6 hours of working the streets of Orchard is rather tiring.
• Distance: 7 Town is a good place to chill out before and after work.
• Freedom: 5 We had freedom to do whatever we want, but there are timely spotchecks from the mangement who hid among the crowd. So we had to act in caution. Occasionally, we sneaked a 2 hour long break.
• Working environment: 9 Walking the streets of Orchard during Christmas truly surrounded me with the joy of the festive season.
• Boss: 6 The lady expected demands and therefore drew a distinct line between boss and worker.
• Interaction with new collegues: 10 I made some really cool new friends who turned out to be good KTV buddies!
• Babes: 8 There's no lack in babes roaming the streets.
• Enjoyment: 4 I did not experience much fun. My face was pretty black most of the time.
• Physical requirement: 8 The continuous walking to and fro the streets, carrying a large signboard did tire me out at the end of the day.
• Mental requirement: 7 This job also involved studying human behaviour, and therefore I had to come out with different approaches to coax potential customers.
• Safety: 8 My big signboard on top of me did hit a few passerbys when I bent over.
• Learning value: 6 There are techniques to pick up in the art of sales and promoting.
• Overall Job Satisfaction: 6 I do not like to approach strangers in the streets to promote. I rather they approach me. But it's still a good experience altogether.

Review for a SAF Officer in ITI (Rating of 1 to 10)

• Pay: 9 For 1K++ per month this income had been the pillar to ensure the survival of my family.
• Working Hours: 7 Although working hours is a seemingly long 9 hours, it past rather fast.
• Distance: 3 Also known as Siberia, TG Camp is situated at Tuas. It took me a bit more than an hour to reach camp.
• Freedom: 9 Referring to the times that Eugene and I are the biggest fuck in the office, we were totally free to do whatever we want: read newspaper, soccer, tea time, surf net, play game, etc. The restriction came in only when I received a call or SMS from boss.
• Working environment: 8 The camp felt like a resort to me. With the wide variety of entertainments available, life never gets boring in camp.
• Boss: 8 I am glad to have MAJ S as my direct boss. Cuz he is always so busy to be bothered to supervise us.
• Interaction with new collegues: 10 It's always nice to have other people bumping into my office to look for challengers in chinese chess. Or we would have a game of Soul Calibre 2 before switching to FIFA 2005. And Eugene had been influential in changing my attitute for the better.
• Babes: 1 Self-explanatory.
• Enjoyment: 7 It was fun when I get to take total charge of my own time. But my jobs were pretty unappealing to me.
• Physical requirement: 8 Even when as a staff officer, I was often picked to take part in running competitions. I was compelled to maintain a certain level of fitness.
• Mental requirement: 10 Boss always like to give us little details and ask us to brainstorm for more when putting up a report.
• Safety: 9 There's no physical harm I could sustain. Maybe some indigestions from oversleeping after lunch?
• Learning value: 10 For spending 8 months in this camp, I had definitely felt I had not wasted time working in this organisation. I grew up alot. 2 years in army well spent!
• Overall Job Satisfaction: 8 It was fulfilling for the time in ITI. But the rigid system of SAF is the reason that I longed to be out of this organisation ASAP!

Once You Pop, The Fun Wun Stop

Besides working for the concerts, I got another weekend job as a promoter for Pringles. Pringles had intoduced two new flavors: "tomato salsa" & "grilled shrimp with pepper". So I was attached to Seng Siong Supermarket at Woodlands (beside the custom) for one month as a promoter giving out samples. The uniform is an ultimate turn off. I have to stand in the bright red and yellow uniform and bermudas for 8 hours. If not for the $9 per hour...

I first arrived at the supermarket (after spending $4 on transport for going to wrong places) to look for the supervisor. I got a pleasant surprise from the crews: they had no idea that a promoter was to be attached to them. Nonetheless they brought me to the section that stacked Pringles to chest level from the floor, before leaving me alone, looking helpless. I had no table, no gloves provided, but only myself, 12 sampling Pringles cans and 200 sampling cups.

Before I start to earn my first cent, I had to shop and pay for the gloves to be used later on. Then, I hunted for beer crates to be stacked and utilised as my table. Enthusiastically, I started to fill the cups with 4 pieces of different flavours each, and displayed them all in front of me. It was before long that my booth started to attract a small crowd. Since then, an endless stream of people came to sample the chips. Most of my customers were Malaysians. This place is a hangout for the Johor residents. It was fun observing the different kind of methods people would use to try the samples:

1. The nodding - these people would stop to try thr sample, and as I try to promote the new flavours, I can obviously see that they are not not listening, purely nodding their head impatiently in pretence that they are interested in hearing more.
2. The hit and run - I don't like this band of people for they appeared rude to me. They don't even look me in my face before grabbing the cup and go. They simply disregard my existence.
3. The child's play - a lot of parents like to stand from a distance, and order their children to come and take the samples. And so these children grabbed the number of cups relative to the number of people in the family. Most of the time, the kids deployed the "hit and run" technique.
4. The pitiful stare - kids like to use this tactic. They come to my table and stare at the chips. Some kids look at the chips, then run away, then come back in a few seconds to look again, then run away. This can go on forever if I don't offer them the samples. Some others just stand and stare at the chips, not daring to take until I satisfy them with the samples.
5. The freeloaders - some would keep walking to and fro in front of my booth, taking a cup of samples each time he past my table, assuming that I would not take notice it. Sad to say, not only the kids did this. A handful of adults had attempted.

I truly appreciate it when people sincerely stop by to sample before deciding which flavour to purchase.

There were a few interesting incidents over the 2 days that I had worked there. One lady in her fifties tasted the chips. (We conversed in English) I introduced her to the flavour, "this is our newly introduced tomato flavour." She nodded to show she understood, then asked, "orhh.. tomato ah this one.. hmm then you have potato flavour?" I was at a total lost for words for an instance, before pointing to her that all the four flavours are potatoes actually. She then nodded her head, "orhh...", before walking away.

2 kids, a girl and a boy came to my table. They had a strong unpleasant body odour on them, as if they never bathe for weeks. The girl took a cup and munched happily. The boy stood still beside her, looking at her in envy. He stood there looking at my samples for a long time before his sister asked for another cup for him, "he wants to take but he dun dare to". I gave the sample to him, smiling friendly. He started eating the pieces, and I swear I had never seen anyone appreciate a potato chip to this extent. He appeared to have never tasted potato chips before, and as he chewed, he expressed a smile of joy and gratitude, eyes almost tearing. Man was I touched by this scene.

Once, because I ran out of cups, so I would tell the shoppers to take the chips only, and leave the cup behind. One boy then took the cup and ate the chip. I kindly asked him to give me back the cup, but he mistook that he was not supposed to take the samples, thinking that I was chiding him. In fear, he hurriedly put the half bitten chip back in the cup. What happened next really took me by surprise... The boy reached for the chewed crumps in his mouth and put them all back in the cup, wet and gross. That also meant one more cup wasted.

On my second day of work, a malay man was nabbed for shoplifting. Both his hands were held tightly by two staffs as they walked past my table. As they proceeded on, the culprit tried, in a failure attempt, to struggle to break away.

Most of the staffs in the supermarket were irritating. They do not have the slightest sense of graciousness when they assumed that they have the right to eat the chips because we are "自己人". They don't even have the courtesy to ask.

On the whole, this job is fucking extremely boring. It needed me to stand there 8 hours with no one to chat to. Fortunately, I have no superior to report to. Therefore, when I was near the brim of boredom madness, I would head for the storeroom and read newspaper..until I fall asleep. Although for once this break unintentionally stretched up to 3 hours, it was crucial.

Review for a Pringles Promoter (Rating of 1 to 10)

• Pay: 10 For $9 per hour, it's the vital factor to keep me on this job.
• Working Hours: 6 Eight hours is the norm for most jobs. Allocated with one hour of meal break, it is still fine.
• Distance: 7 A half hour trip of a straight bus.
• Freedom : 10 In hokkien, I call this 没有政府 (no government). I'm the government. No supervisor, no boss, I call all shots to the length of breaks. Integrity is the factor that stopped me from not appearing for work while collecting pay.
• Working environment: 3 It's torturing to have to stand in one spot for a long time. I was compelled to look at the instant noodles poster pasted in front of my booth. The guy in the ad really gave an irritating expression. I would love to give him a hard punch in the face. Fortunately, the music played in the background wasn't too bad, with some Lee Hom, David Tao, and Beyond oldies.
• Boss: N.A.
• Interaction with new collegues: 1 The staffs are mostly freeloaders. The only one who chat a little with me is an auntie in her fifties. The rest are all irritants.
• Babes: 1 Pathetic. Not even more than a couple of babes shop in this supermarket, not to mention staffs.
• Enjoyment: 3 Pretty shameful to admit, the only enjoyable part is to have some weird customers to amuse me with their ignorance.
• Physical requirement: 3 The only physically tough part is to have to stand all the way.
• Mental requirement: 2 This is a very simple job and doesn't need much brain cells. It only involves a routine introduction of the product.
• Safety: 9 Perhaps only the shoplifter pose a little threat, please note: it's just "a little".
• Learning Value: 5 There's nothing much to learn other than studying the link between human behaviour and free goodies. It's the only intriguing part.
• Overall Job Satisfaction: 5 I don't like this job. My weekends are ruined by Pringles!

Working with Fish

Jingru is speechlessly wonderful. Every cell in my body absorbs every note that Jingru sang at the rehearsal. It was truly a sensational musical therapy.

3 March 2005. Under Unusual Productions Ltd Pte, Guofeng, Robert and I were the stage crew for Liang Jingru's concert. For the first day, the task was to set up the stage from scratch. Our job were to assist in loading and transporting all stage equipments over to Sngapore Indoor Stadium, and fix up the thrusts, lightings, and sounds. It all sounded pro, but we, the amateurs, were the labourers being ordered around by the seasoned technicians. It's been more than a year since I have to be ordered to do shitty jobs. It's about time, and I'm happy about it. Another transition to adapt to. At the end of it all, for the three of us, our greatest achievement was the projection screens. They were fixed by us! From 9am, we worked 14 hours until 1am before we call it a day. However, in the 14 hours, 2 hours were spent napping, 4 hours were spent on meals and smoking breaks.

4 March 2005. The second day, Gan came in place of Robert. The stage were pretty much done up and prepared by late afternoon. There were around 50 speakers in all and it seemed that whoever sang into the mike would sound nice. It is a dream come true for me to be able to sing into this kind of system. At 1930hrs, Jingru arrived in a vintage orange Adidas sweater with blue jeans. Without delay, she went to the center of the stage where the bands were already playing a score of "东风破". Jingru came to the mike and blended herself to the instrumental. Her first note was enought to make my hair stand. Sitting in the first row of seats, we enjoyed a close up view of the stage. I had set my eyes on Jingru most of the time in the midst of mesmerisation. However her dancers were remarkably beautiful. At one point, one of the busty dancers had stolen all limelight from Jingru as she, in her low cut, bent over to expose her echoing cleavage...

It was a brand new experience to work as a stage crew for concerts. There are a lot more knowledges and techniques than to simply constucting the platforms of the stage. The programming of the lighting sequences to suit the music; the angles where the spot lights shoots at the star; the high risk taken to stand around 40 metres off ground on thrust poles to adjust the lightings ( without any safety harness); and the sophisticated laying of the outrageously many cables... It really takes time and effort to attain a respectable level of proficiency.

Review for a Stage Crew (Rating of 1 to 10)

• Pay: 7 The pay is ranged from $80 to $100 per day. It would seem great if not for the ultra long working hours.
• Working Hours: 2 14 hours is probably the longest period I ever worked (not considering SAF).
• Distance: 3 Situated at Kallang, it takes some 1 hour to reach.
• Freedom : 8 We were given pretty much freedom in the sense that we could move around freely in the area. However, smoking breaks and lunchtimes were to be told to us.
• Working environment: 7 The amount of space in the stadium certainly add to the points. But it could be alot better if the in charge of the stadium decided to turn on the air-con for the workers. Being allowed to work topless is another plus point.
• Boss: 9 The three bosses were merely a few years older than us. Communication is'nt a problem. They were pretty welfare, for we were even being sent home to our doorsteps.
• Interaction with new collegues: 3 Even though the other workers were about the same age as us, they seem quite hard to strike a converasation with. I feel that they carry the mentality of being a long serving worker unwilling to talk to newbies.
• Babes: 9 Although there are no female collegues, the professional dancers are enough to bleed your nose dry.
• Enjoyment: 10 For being able to see Liang Jingru have her rehearsal live just 10 metres from me, nothing could have been better.
• Physical requirement: 8 There are a lot of heavy loads that required physical labours. However with lots of trolleys and manpower going around, it posed no problem to us.
• Mental requirement: 5 There's nothing much to think about, not unless if I probe in to find out more from the technicians. We merely need to think about how to stack and transport the loads in the most efficient way.
• Safety: 3 The four of us all did get a bit of minor scratches here and there. I had a knock in my shin, Gan got a swollen finger from a smash by a metal onto the wall, Robert and Guofeng got injuries by the splinters from the wooden planks. Besides this, the heavy loads and the high voltage running in the cables were potential killers.
• Learning Value: 7 We did not participate much in the technical part of the stage setting. We cover mostly physical labours. But there were plentiful of cool stuffs to learn if I stay long enough in this line. Besides I can learn the singing and hosting techniques of the performers.
• Overall Job Satisfaction: 6 This job is cool to serve me as a part time job. Earning cash and enjoying concerts at the same time!

Paradox

1 March 2005. It's 5.20am and I'm at Gan's house now. I just woke up from a most incredible dream I ever had. In jumbled pieces, here am I trying my best to recollect every part of the dream. It's a dream within dream within dream....

I was with dad, stepmum, bro, mum and her family on a holiday vacation. We were staying in a hotel. We had decided to pay the casino a visit. Tagging along with us was a strikingly beautiful aussie babe, who, in the dream, was my mum's cousin! She had a name in the dream which I forgot, so I'll call her Andrea.

The casino was a bright room which resembled a function room instead of a gambling den. Together with Andrea, we were at the table that deals with dice guessing. When I was supposed to be enjoying myself with the company of an aussie babe, she had, however, turned me off as she was somehow irritating me and it cost me my bets. Although it was a mere $20 that I had lost, I was damn bloody pissed off. After the casino the gang headed for a australian meal which we were recommended. Carrying the bad mood out of the casino with me, I told them I'm not joining them before returning to the hotel room.

Dim yellow lightings and seemingly lavish carpeted, the corridor of the second floor was of a typical high class hotel style. Even the door of the room appeared to be of high quality material. I unlocked and went inside the room. The queen sized bed sits by the curtain by the side of the room. It felt like a deluxe class suite. Bags and stuffs packed in carriers laid across the carpeted floor. After I settle down on the bed in satisfaction, a large group of 20 over university students soon enter the room. I could not recognise any one of them unfamilar faces. Neither do they know me. One by one they came in, and before soon they were all sitting around the floor playing cards. They know but ignored my existence. It appeared to me that they had assumed that I must be another friends' friend, and nobody bothered to go find out.

I turned to look at the room key I left on the cabinet beside the bed. I realised that the key tag number was 230. I had clearly remembered the room number on the door while I was opening it. It was different. On top of this, the room number that I was told by the staffs was also different. Baffled, I called the 'guardroom' and the manager answered. I reported of the strange happenings and asked for an explanation. He went in to a state of panick, and repeatedly asked me not to leave the hotel and begged me to forgive him for the blunders. He said that similiar incidents had been frequent happenings recently. A handful of people had complaint and he was looking into salvaging the issue. The manager sent a staff to me. In the usual waiter kind of attire, the guy led me to the room, which was 'supposedly my correct room', the 3rd level. This time round, the numbers on the key tag and door tallied. Expecting a similar kind of room as the one before, I flung the door open only to come into a small room painted with black walls. The walls were filled with graffitis. By the wall on the right, there stood two cupboards, and a couple of single sized beds. Like in the previous room, there laid a lot of bags on the uncarpeted floor. I recognised the belongings: dad's bedsheet was in one of the bags.

I waited for the rest to come back after I settled in. Soon Andrea came back to the room. She commented that I had missed a damn wonderful meal. She said that if i put wallet near the door on the floor, that would be a high chance that thieves would stretch his hand in to steal it. Then I posed a challenge to her, betting that such incident would be impossible. I placed my wallet near the door. Shortly after the placement, indeed, a hand suddenly appeared from the gap underneath the door. Shocked, I tried retrieve my wallet. However, the hand was still scanning around the floor, searching for it. I took a peek under the door. Suddenly the man on the other side put his face under the door to meet me in the eyes. It was a terrible fright.

(I forgot what happened next. The next thing I remembered was...) A lot of people from the hotel died, including Andrea. I remembered that she somehow died tragically. All of a sudden, when I was not given any time to react over the deaths, I woke up only to figure that it was all but a dream.

The next scene followed... I met mark at the same hotel and told him of the strange dream that I experienced. Around the hotel, I saw all the same people again. I went to the public toilet. I faced the mirror to wash my face. From the reflection I stared as a guy came in. I recognised him as one of the university guy I met in the room 203. One by one again, more people visited the toilet and I recognised almost 10 of the approximately 15 people hanging around. I knew there was something wrong. They had all died in my dream. I gathered them all and told them excitedly that I had met them all in the dream, warning them that something bad will happen to them. They tried to relax me, telling me that it was merely a dream. But I knew something will happen.

The next scene was the hotel lobby. Suddenly all the people in the hotel started to walk like zombies. I asked them what happened and they claimed that they were being food poisoned. Andrea came to my mind. Instinctively I was sure she was going to meet with some fatal trouble. I began to search for her franctically. Still inside of the hotel, I walked past an entrance of a pub to see May. She appeared to be affected by the poison. I wanted offer my help to her, but the urgency to locate Andrea did not allow me to do so. May signalled to move on, as she tried to dig her throat with her finger to trigger the vomit.

I receive a phone call, a blur and distorted one. In a very soft and timid tone, the caller introduced herself as a good friend of Andrea, and she wanted to look for her. She knew Andrea was into some kind of trouble. She claimed that she could not speak up loud because she was a patient in a hospital planning to sneak out. I trusted her words, and waited for her at the car port of the hotel. It was already late night. While I waited I saw the bodies lying around... They belonged to the group I had warned in the toilet earlier. All dead.

She arrived in a cab. Together we franctically looked for Andrea. We came to an garden near the hotel. Under the dim moonlight, there was a woman kneelin amongst a heap of headless bodies. In her hand, she held Andrea at her neck, still alive, in a choking position. She wielded a kantana in another hand. Still at a distance, we shouted our lungs out as we ran forward, calling for her to stop what she was about to do. While we were dashing forward, she beheaded her. Two streams of blood fountained out of Andrea's neck. Her body hit the floor with a thump. I soon arrived at the spot. Remaining in kneeling position, the woman had an evil and satisfied look in her face. I snatched the kantana over from her hand and sliced her head in a vengeful anger.

The next thing I realised again was that it was a dream. Puzzled and amazed by the dreams that I dreamt, I had met Gan and Robert in a kopitiam. I eagerly relate to them about this incredible dream within dream. I started telling the story from all over again, with the scenes re-enacting in front of my eyes again.

Halfway through, the scene changed back to the black hotel room on the third floor as I opened my eyes, staring into the celing. I was alone. I sat up and stared at the two cupboards. They were opened and empty. I felt that there must be something lurking somewhere in the dark room. I was petrified over everything. Fucking disorientated. All the talking to Gan and Robert, it was yet another dream, I thought. Before I know it, I opened my eyes wide again. This time I am at Gan's house, on Gan's bed, alone. I could not differentiate dream from reality.

I took a while to be convince that I'm back in the real dimension. It was hard to believe what had happened was a dream. It was realistic. Seconds after I opened my eyes, a lightning striked, and it seemed to hit this very block. The thunder clapped so loud I used the pillow to cover my ears.