Upon my exit from the hall, I closed another chapter in life. The steps taken became light instantaneously, the air evaporated of its staleness, even the puffs were sweet. The journey home felt like I was returning from a long enduring war. I rang my comrades who understands it all, and I rang the monkeys to share my joy of home-coming. I tried ringing her too.
Soon I was home, the same gloom greeted me from the moment I opened the creaking wooden door. Shadows engulfed the light as the door slammed shut behind me. As I ascended the unlit stairway and entered my room, the air grew stale once again. The translucent curtains allowed dim sunset rays to seep through, suffice to soothe the uneasiness in me. Unchanged, I laid on my bed, not out of weariness. Instead, I seemed to be beaten by a surge of emptiness. Although the mental racking period was finally over, the taste of sweetness did not last.
I realised I could not find the proper outlet to relieve myself of my joy. It striked me further that, indeed, much like stress, my joy needs to be discharged as well. Bottled up joy could turn stale really fast. The bottle of joy must be delivered right after it is created. Because stale joy gradually vanishes.
The seeping sun rays retreated and I was left alone with darkness. By then, the stale joy had already evaporated into nothingness. So be it. What is coming up next? I thought I had it all planned out. I merely need to execute it, but it just don't feel right. I have lost the connection, the touch that I longed for. When did it drift away, could I ever see it again? Out in the open sea, would the bottle of nothingness finally drift to its receiver one day?
I feel lost today.
Ironically, I now wish for this exam period to not have ended so soon.
