Cataclysm

I was awakened by the my handphone ringing this morning. The time was 9.12am. It was Ailing from Citibank, "did you got to the law firm?" In a daze, I replied, "I did not go, and I'm not going already..." I dropped back to my bed. An hour later, I was, again, awakened by the knocking of the door. "The bidders are here," I thought to myself as my heart raced.

Last night was a night of emotional upheaval, ever since the traumatic family feud some years back.

I called up the bank, Ailing, and Immigration & Checkpoints Authority (ICA) to get more infomation on how I can handle this case. Due to the fact that the properties in my house were purchased as common product with dad, they have legal rights to charge these stuffs to my stepmother. Ailing adviced me that the only solution to prevent the auction was to pay 3 times the sum of the properties' value to settle everything. I have to come out with $3000 before 9am next morning, when I barely had enough for dinner later on. After my work, I went to meet up with Gan while on his job. I needed company.

Even though 3K is not a big sum, we did not have the ability to produce it in such a short time. Dad began calling all his (broke) pals, and I attempted to look for mum. It was hard for me to ask her for money. She hated dad to the extent that she prayed him to be dead. To lend me the money is as good as helping dad. She rejected my initial approach. I sensed her reluctance, and I did not persist. Believe me, it feels fucking cheap and terrible to beg for money.

I knew that mum was the last person whom I am able to ask money from. I thought all hope was gone after her rejection. I called dad up to inform him. "Forget it. Nevermind it already, let them take it..." he said, which matched what I was thinking. We should not keep the properties we could not afford. I feel unjust by the fact that they are paying a thousand to confiscate properties that worth over ten thousands. I knew dad did not want to let those properties go. I received calls from bro, I sensed his helpless. He laughed hopelessly. Forlorned and fucked up. I loathed myself for being unable to do anything to rescue the house of its belongings. I felt like a good-for nothing useless ass. I can't even save my family from such a minor incident.

I was with Gan and his dad at the coffeeshop. I struggled so much to hold back the tears from the watery eyes, alas I gave up fighting the tears. I made my way to the washroom, and felt like bashing up every fuck shit person and obstacle that stood in my way. I broke down beside the urinal. I was just useless. Gan came in to give me a pat on my shoulders, as if a de-javu of a similar situation in school almost 3 years back.

I hated myself to act this way, for I perceive myself a strong personality. Now do I realise how little can I withstand.

After calming down back at the table, bro called. He sounded urgent. It seemed that dad had sourced for a guy who was willing to lend him the cash, with interest. Loanshark, it immediately striked me. This is not the first time. I thought he agreed to let the property go. How could he have been so desperate! Bro said that he had to use his IC to borrow the money. He had tried calling mum to ask for money, but also to no avail. I called dad to warn him. He told me everything's gonna be fine, and hung me up. I was brought to a frantical situation. I ordered bro never to sign any document, and to make sure dad don't. At that very moment the loan guy had already set his foot on our tiles. I rushed off home immediately, leaving my unfinished dinner with Gan and his dad.

On the MRT platform, mum called. She gave in for the sake of bro and me, and agreed to lend the $3K. I was utterly beatened up by that time. I made my way out of the MRT station, and to her house. I almost could not find my way there as I went into a state of daze. I felt useless.

On the lift up mum's house, I was with a middle-aged lady. I had a sudden mad urge to shine my jack knife on her neck to rob her. I thought it would be easy to rob from the nearby 7-11, or the cashier of the drink store. I was in the absolute wrong state of mind, everything thought ran wild. Before the lift door close, someone pressed it open again. In came another 2 person.

At mum's house, she repeated herself of how much she wanted dad to die. She wished that he jump off the window, only then she would not hesitate to aid us. I remained silent and waited for the money.

I finally headed home as it reached midnight. I was mentally exhausted by that time. But dad and I still have to plan for the auction next morning. We had 3 plans:

1. Bring $3K to the law firm to settle every fuck thing.
2. Negotiate and buy back everything from the highest bidder at a higher price.
3. Let them take everything, and we replenish with the 3K in hand.

We eventually decided on plan 2. And so I went to bed immediately, too tired to even wash up.

This very morning, I answered the door. I was surprised to see only a man in his forties. With his hair all combed up, he seemed like a decent businessman. He tried to appear angelic, "I'm here to help you." He suggested that we'll put up a show later, with his man to sucessfully bid the property, and sell it back to us. His sweet words does sound nice and touching, but it all came from his lion mouth. Apart from what he called "registration fee" of $300, he will charge an additional of $300 on top of the final bid. I left it to dad to discuss with him. The final decision: everyone will leave the house, and I alone would have to put up a show at the auction.

I had to show it to the bidders that I'm not interested in keeping the property anymore. I need to appear annoyed and try to push for the auction to end fast. All these would result in the bidding to be lesser, hopefully. I emptied the fridge to give them the idea that I was prepared to send it away, and not interested in negotiating to buy it back. And so I was left by myself in the house to anticipate their arrival. After a good night's rest, I was in a clear state of mind. I was calmer, but at the same time surprise to recall how pathetic I was the night before. It was disgusting.

The mob arrived very soon. A swarm of potential 'money-grabbers' packed the corridor rather unsightly. The auctioner came in to account for the property, before he called for the mob to come in and commence the auction. I stood high before all of them, then spoke in a commanding yet irritated tone, "eh, you want to auction, make it fast. I am rushing for time. Faster settle everything, take, and go." The auctioner assured me 5 minutes would be sufficient.

I went up to my room to hear the bid commence. He started it with $900. No noise from the mob. He then decreased it to $600, only then the mob started making noises. Every bid is $50, and every bid raised my blood pressure. My ears were running hot. In between I heard some quarrel from the mob. There seemed to be disputes over the bidding. In the end, the deal closed at $950. Everyone else then left, after 'dirtying' my home. The bidder was one of the 'actor'. As agreed earlier on, we proceeded to the transferring of the property to my name. Dad came back and they negotiated further, only to finalise the deal at $1,400. With that, the ordeal closed its curtain.

Perhaps a blessing in disguise, I estimate that I would only take the next 3 months to repay mum $1.4K instead of $3K. My plans to save for studies have to halt for now. I had managed to secure $1.7K for April after weeks of working, but it is demoralising to see it gone to repay debts before I can pocket it. I am tired of this thing. I am sick of money.