人情

人情 - a form of debt unmeasured monetarily, but by the efforts and actions (out of kindness or pity) of a person (creditor) for the sake of the debtor, which normally results in enormous returns of gratitude. The level of gratitude by the debtor will not be proportional to the amount of effort by the creditor. In fact it will be a increasing exponential curve.

人情, a loan that one would need desperately in times of despair. To receive the loan would be similiar to a situation when one receives water from another person, after struggling to survive for days in a scorching desert. Ironically, sometimes I would hoped that this much appreciated needy helping hand do not appear at all. I felt shit knowing that there is nothing I could do to repay the debt, when what lies ahead in my life journey is still a massive fog. There is only an outstanding debt of indefinite gratitude that engulfs over me forever.

3 years back, in JC2, I can vividly remember Kiat passing me a stack wrapped in a piece of white paper. It was over a hundred dollars in cash, pooled in by a group of friends. It's a regret that I do not recall all the members involved, but the act was touched me deeply. They saw that I only brought less than a dollar to school each day, barely enough for a proper snack. Looking back, I feel ashamed. These are money I should not accept, for my friends are mostly as broke as myself. I developed a philosophy which states that a man, given his natural in-born ability to hunt for his own food, will never allow himself to be starved, moreover in a modernised society. I can find my own food without taking from any other people. 人情, I owe them a deeply appreciated one.

My beloved teacher from NYJC had listened to all my problems. Unable to pay for A-level exam fees that very year, she had applied financial aid for me, and the school eventually paid my exam fees.

I have never mentioned it openly before, but I'm sincerely deeply grately for their help. Gan and his family had been concerned about my situations, in fact, more than anyone else. Gan's dad had, through his network, introduced me OCBC bank (Ang Mo Kio branch) manager to discuss and negotiate my study loans. Gan's mum was so worried that besides finding me councils that might be able to provide study aids, she actually volunteered to be my guarantor using her CPF. She is a housewife and a babysitter.

Mum's husband is a wise man when it comes to dealing with money. He had saved enough to last him and his family of 3, and support the son til University studies. The son is 11 this year, and the parents have retired. I do not like to ask for money which comes from their retirement savings, but he finally did agree to lend me the 1.4K to pass the tide.

A month back, Eugene and Enping gave me an EZlink card as an much unexpected ORD gift. While I was prepared to keep it as a souvenir from them, one day I had no cash at all to support my transportation. Reluctantly, I had to resort to tap the new card to report to work. The card worths a total of $67.

Just last week, Daniel intended on passing me some cash of over a hundred, which I was insistent of not accepting.

I deeply appreciated the gestures and all.

At the same time, I feel pathethic.