Alamak

Eugene did an analysis on my situation today, again. This time it really got me thinking real deep. For that I missed to alight at the MRT station. I was thinking about the damned situation that I am going to face. I called the HDB 2 days ago, and enquired about the situation of our property. It was catastophic. Now that dad and bro were bringing no cash home, I know that it was up to me to shoulder all the shit. I ain't complaining, and I really need to plan and measure the risk ahead...

HDB debt is piling on every month. It's been around 6 months since the last payment. For that, we paid a "tribute" of 1.8k to HDB. (And the HDB guy I talked to happened to be named Chin...) This screwed up system had to be curbed immediately. If we sell it, I estimate a leftover of 20k.. With that, I wonder how much shelter a family of 3 can get. Moreover, if HDB debt exceeds a certain limit, our current shelter will taken away, and there might be a ban from getting another unit under HDB.

Though I dreaded for the day to come, but now that its nearing, I feel lost. Any other A-level graduate would persue the further education somewhere after ORD. I am undecided now. 2 years back, having fooled around and thus achieving a result that no local subsidised University would wana enrol me for its business degree. Private university is probably the only way out, but considering the course fees on top of the debts, I would be like paying for the rest of my life. This route does not seem attractive.

One rational path is to carry on working for SAF. Rational as it may be (in terms of financial), I would be giving up my desire for a job satisfaction. On the other hand, I would be staying in a regimental and inflexible working environment, where a simple game of soccer would require setting up of water points and tons of paperwork. I simply cannot stand it, not even for a short 3 year contract that can pay me 2k per month plus a huge lump sum, or even a subsidy for my further studies.

Start working with a 'A' Level education? Not a wise choice for I would not be employed in a reputable firm. I would then probably be competing in hunting for jobs with other 'O' and 'A' level students that just graduated. A DBS roadshow promoter? Or a server at Chinablack hoping to get transferred into the bar section? How about becoming Singapore Idol?

There's one other path that I'm considering to take instead. It involves a high level of risk, and also debt. If sucessful, however, it can clear up the debts in about 5 years time, and provide for the course fees for further studies. Being my own boss would definitely be a risky venture for a greenhorn like me. I might plan for a simple startup, which requires another steepy loan. Although I very much want to go into studies as early as possible, but it seems foolhardy and a wrong timing now. A failure would probably thrash my hopes for a further study in a near future...

3 months more to a another phase of life. This new phase would be the roughest ride I would face in the 20 years. Well, the storm was over and now it's up to me solely to rebuild what was dad, bro and me have lost. I gladly shoulder this wreckage (and perhaps prepare for a greater one).