Dilemma: Realism VS Desire

Every once in a while, Eugene, my buddy from my previous unit, would wake me up from the comfort zone. Everytime he spoke to me about my situation, I see how hazardous things are. After spending the past 8 months working closely with him, Eugene knows my situation better than anyone else, and he never fails to offer precious and wise advices. Even after ORD, we had discussed my problem over MSN.

I had already applied for BSc Business from SIM-UOL. I did so without measuring the risk ahead. Even til now, I have not a source to support the studies. And so, Eugene analysise my situation again. He is now working as a temp in a firm. Together with him are a handful of SIM graduates, also there working as temps. Most of their other friends who graduated from SIM, either cannot find work or only find a job with a starting pay of < $1500-1600. Many sucessful entrepreneurs pounced on opportunities, they need no degrees. A fresh graduate with top honours foresees a $3.5K pay, and an average starting pay for a NUS grad is $2.3K. When SIM's marketability will most probably lose to both NUS, NTU and SMU, I would expect a 2K pay with a decent certificate. I can't confidently guarantee even a decent looking certificate. Measuring opportunity cost, I would lose out 3 years of working experience and income, incur an additional $23K of debt, and spend another 3 years repaying the debt. Altogether, I lose 6 good years of income in exchange for a cert and some theories. What Eugene highlights sound all so logical and reasonable, despite my desire to persue the degree. Moreover Eugene pointed out that I am simply not cut out for studying, which I agreed. His suggestion: from now on, work my ass off, day and night, sleep 4 hours a day, get paid, clear all outstanding debts, and start a business in 10 years time. He, as a lawyer with a decent income, promised to invest in time to come. He says, "you'll get a better chance in the real world, rather than following the flow," and that I have the responsibility, honesty, work ethics that aren't traits for studying. He suggests I take over every debt that dad owes, to truly measure the amount of time I need to clear everything before I can really concentrate on earning for myself and the potential business.

Dilemma. I'm facing a choice between realism & my desire?

Human is a very complicated being. It takes alot of perspective from different levels to to define human and its life. Although I hate it, I have to be undecisive in this issue. I need more perspectives to measure the pros and cons.

While his words piled pressure on me, on the other hand, more pressure pours in. I am fire-fighting against the debt that dues in 2 days. Finally the creditors are coming to auction off our properties. The debts are credited to my stepmother, who did not live with us for more than a year. I've been to the police station to sought advice and called up the citibank (creditor), all of not much help. With one day left to sort this out, I can only pray for a glimpse of hope by calling ICA to inform them that stepmother had not changed her address, bidding for a chance that they would direct the charge to her new address. The monkey clan actually planned to celebrate Hanjun's 21st birthday at my house this coming Saturday. I told Guofeng to put it on hold first. I wish that the celebration can take place. I was complacent, that I had not tried anything to resolve this earlier when I have abundance of time. I was just too complacent to get things done. I assumed things would straighten out when the time comes. This is yet another painful lesson.